Pray for Your Husband Through the Week

This year I’ve committed to praying for my husband more diligently.

The other day I was thinking about it, and while each of us has friends and a great church family whom we could (and do) call upon to pray, there is no other person who knows my husband more deeply and intimately than I do. And there is no one who knows me more than him.

Therefore, we have such a privileged position when it comes to prayer – we can pray for each other in ways that others wouldn’t even think of. We can direct our prayers with accuracy and love. We can use the daily reminders brought on my living in close proximity to serve as prayer prompts.

We can pray for each other around those sensitive areas that the other person might not be ready to talk about yet.

What a gift it can be when we pray for our spouse intentionally!

One way I’ve been doing this recently is that I set a reminder on my phone for 10am every day to pray for my husband. (I didn’t realise, but apparently our calendars are linked so my husband gets this notification too – he told me he loves it, because it reminds him to pray for me!)

Then I wrote a list where I assigned a generalised prayer point for each day of the week.

Pray for Your Husband Through the Week

This is my list, but you could definitely make up your own prayer points to suit:

M – Maturity in Christ. This is something Paul often tells us he prays for the believers he addresses his letters to. None of us will reach full maturity in Christ until we are completely transformed into His image, so this is a great thing to pray for your husband

T – Trust in Christ. “Trust and obey, for there’s no other way, to be happy in Jesus, than to trust and obey.” Each Tuesday I pray that my husband will put his trust in Jesus as he walks in obedience to him.

W – Wisdom. I pray that my husband will have wisdom from God in whatever challenges he is facing that day – whether spiritual or earthly.

Th – Theology. I pray for my husband to grow in his understanding of and love for God.

F – Friendship. On Fridays I pray for my husband’s friendships, that they would be a source of joy and encouragement to him.

Sat – Seeing God. I pray that my husband would see God’s hand mightily throughout his day and week.

Sun – Sexuality. I pray for my husband’s sexuality (with thankfulness!) that God would use it for His glory.

 

Each day when the reminder goes off, I take a minute to recall what the prayer point is for that day, and then briefly pray for my husband in whichever way that point best applies to him at the moment.

It’s so simple, but such an effective way to be building up your husband and practically loving him.

Why not give it a try?

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Hospitality for the Socially Awkward

“Where do you think I should put the drinks table?” I asked my husband, as he scrubbed the barbecue in preparation for our house-warming party.

“I don’t know,” he said.

“Because I was thinking it should go down there on the ground, so it’s not a big deal if people spill drinks. But then I was thinking that it might be too far away from the food table, so maybe we should put it up here on the deck. So… what do you think?” I asked again.

“I don’t know. You decide,” he said.

“Fine,” I huffed, “We won’t have a drinks table then.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” he said, as I stomped back inside.

Ugh. Is there anything worse than someone saying you’re being ridiculous when you are actually being ridiculous?

The truth is, hosting people at our house for a party or even a casual barbecue does make me go a little crazy.

I find myself playing out all the things that could go wrong…. Not enough food. Someone’s child goes missing. Someone’s child breaks something. My child won’t nap. Guests won’t feel welcome. It will be boring. I won’t know what to say to people. On and on, in my head, goes the list of potential problems.

So by the time we get to the day of the party, I tend to be in a bit of a state.

 

But personal weakness and discomfort are not reasons for ignoring (or wilfully disobeying) God’s instructions.

Hospitality is something Christians are commanded to do – it’s one of the tangible ways we are to show God’s love.

Hospitality

This is why I really appreciated Michelle Lesley’s article “The Christian Introvert: Putting off Social Anxiety, Putting on Serving Others“.

I love Michelle’s kind but direct approach to the issue.

When I entertain those anxious thoughts and feelings, I’m focusing on me. My fear of man. My worries about what others will think of me. My discomfort and desire to be somewhere else. Me. Me. Me.

Oooh, it stings so good!

The reason I get so worked up thinking about hosting others is because I’m fixated on myself: What will people think of my cleanliness? What will they think of my food? What will they think of my decorating?

Michelle has some great practical suggestions in her article for “putting on” a selfless attitude in various social situations.

Here are my tips specifically for hosting guests when you feel socially awkward or introverted:

  1. Simplify the food. I mean, you don’t have to be really cheap about it, but the key is to remember that you are making food to provide for people, not impress them. Don’t think about what food will make you look the best, but what food will contribute to everyone’s enjoyment of the party. For our house-warming party, if people asked “Can I bring anything?” we said we would love it if they brought a plate of finger food. Sharing the load of food prep took a lot of pressure off on the day, and I think people enjoyed contributing!
  2. Get your house clean enough. Again, take the focus of “what will people think of me?” and put the focus on, “what will best enable my guests to enjoy themselves and move freely about the house?” Aim for clean and hygienic bathrooms, and get the clutter off the floor, or at least moved to the edges of the floor. I actually think it’s good for people to see a little mess around the edges of your home. It makes them feel more at ease and less like they are walking through a museum. (Not that my home has ever got to museum standards…) Put anything you really don’t want broken away in a cupboard.
  3. Get the kids to help. It’s so good for kids to see and work together with their parents to serve others. Talk them through the practical steps, give them age-appropriate jobs to do and let them see how you love others through hospitality.
  4. Accept help when it is offered. If you have a great church family, like I do, it’s likely you’ll hear the phrase “What can I do?” quite a bit when hosting guests. Have your answer/s prepared! Don’t, I repeat, DON’T say, “Oh, I’ve got it under control.” Because even if you do right now, I can guarantee you won’t for the whole time! So, think of jobs other people can do to help ahead of time. Things like, asking who would like tea or coffee, walking around with a plate of food, clearing empty plates off the table, etc.

 

As the last smiling guest left our doorstep on the afternoon of the house-warming party, I crumpled into my husband’s arms and let out a sigh.

“That was great,” he said. “We should have people over more often!”

“Yeah, we should,” I agreed.

(And then I went and had a nap.)

What I’ve Earned

One of the Bible verses I have hung up in my house is Romans 6:23:

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

It’s one of my favourite verses because I love the contrast between “wages” and “gift”.

What I’ve earned – what we’ve all earned – is death. If God is to “pay” us at the end of our lives for all we did, he would righteously give us death. Just like a worker who does their job Monday through Friday and then earns their pay check, the work of our lives is all sin (without Christ) and so we are owed death as our just payment.

BUT!

God doesn’t give us what we earned. Instead, he gives us a completely free gift – eternal life! In fact, it’s the opposite of what we earned!

Every time I read this verse and ponder it again, it blows my mind.

Thank you, Lord!

 

The Good Girl Delusion

I guess this is the story behind the name of my blog. (I might post it on the About page…)


I’ve always had this deep desire to be the good girl, or at least, to be thought of as the good girl. I’m a classic people pleaser – give me an instruction and I’ll follow it, show me a line, and I won’t cross it. But please, please don’t be disappointed in me!

 

I grew up in a Christian home. My parents taught me about God and the Bible from a young age. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t know God.

In my public primary school I was a total weirdo – I didn’t wear the same kind of clothes and I wasn’t allowed to watch the same kind of shows as my peers. I was regularly teased and made fun of for the way that I stood out from the others.

But the shame of being different as a kid grew into pride in being different as a teenager. I was the Christian, the rule-follower, the good girl, and in my heart – I thought that I was way better than my peers. I didn’t get drunk, I didn’t smoke, I didn’t wear revealing clothes and I didn’t have sex. “Thank you, Lord, that I am not like these other teenagers!” became my heart’s silent refrain.

But I was a bleach-soaked rental shower. Clean and sparkling on the surface, but covered in toxic, black mould underneath. My heart was full of pride, lust and jealousy. On the one hand, I felt that I was so much better than other kids at my school, who would indulge in heavy drinking and premarital sex. But on the other hand, my thought life was consumed with fantasies of sex and living a life of indulgence.

I just thought I was better than them because I didn’t act on it.

I knew that I had Jesus in my life, I just didn’t think I needed him.

I knew that I had Jesus

The Bible calls this pride and it’s at the heart of all sin – this thinking we don’t need God.

 

Back it up a bit…

I accidentally responded to an altar call at a huge youth event (my first one!) when I was 12 years old.

It’s true.

I think I must have been daydreaming during the actual altar call, because all of a sudden, people around me were raising their hands, so I raised my hand too. And then everyone who had raised their hand was walking down to the stage, so I walked down too. Everyone seemed really excited for us, but I didn’t really figure out what was happening until after we got back on the bus and one of the youth leaders congratulated me on giving my life to Christ.

In a way, when I look back on that moment, it seems an apt metaphor for my true salvation. There I was, stumbling around and not really paying attention. And yet, God saved me. It’s not something I did or a decision I made.

He. Saved. Me.

 

And that’s why I write. Sure, I write about lots of things.

But above all, I don’t want to spend my time on earth carefully crafting and managing my own image, being so preoccupied with how I appear to others and what they think of me. I want God to continue his good work of conforming me to the perfect image of his son, Jesus.

 

I used to be the good girl. But He graciously redeemed me.

To Write

I itch to write. I always have.

Whether it be in notebooks, on social media or emails and messages to my friends. Not to mention the deep, soul-revealing letters to God filling up my prayer journal. I’m always writing (or thinking about writing).

So when a few different friends mentioned doing NaNoWriMo, I was thinking… Should I? Could I?

I mean, I just started a business. It’s a busy time of year. Do I really have time to write 50,000 words in a month?

I do have a story I want to write…

But I’ve decided maybe this could be a good time to start a blog. And what better way to kick it off than forcing myself to write every day this month?

So…

I am not overthinking it. I am not going to stress over it. I am not going to be perfectionistic or linger too long over the “Publish” button.

I am doing it.

Starting a blog.

Writing every day.

 

Doing.

It.

Now.

 

(But first, ice cream…)